Wise Man Say, Part 2

Probably the most important words of wisdom:

"Never take sports betting advice from a sketchy blog." -- JW

Wise Man Say

For those of you that aren't allergic to free money, bet the farm on Cincy and give the points this morning. If you don't have a farm, borrow some money, buy a farm, then bet that farm on the Bengals. This is foolproof, even more foolproof than the Anti-JYW. And ask your kids to remember me in their Harvard graduation speeches.

Below are some other words of wisdom. They are generally not original thoughts, but if I don't know the source I am not going to go to the effort of properly crediting and quoting each phrase. Because I don't feel like it.

"Never show surprise, never lose your cool." -- Bryan Brown as Douglas Coughlin

"Go ugly early; it's cheaper." -- Ed S.

"If you haven't gotten any by midnight, go home. Because you ain't gettin' any, and if you do you'll wish you hadn't" -- Babe Ruth

"I never turned anything down but an old black man, and I turned him face down." -- Ed S.

"I'm a dirty old man, and I'll be a dirty old man until I'm a dead old man." -- Ed S.

"There are three rules for getting older: #1 - Never trust a fart. #2 - Never pass a bathroom. #3 - Never waste a hard-on, even if you're alone." -- Ed S.

"There are four things man needs to survive: Food, shelter, p*ssy, and strange p*ssy." -- Anonymous

"My girlfriend lives close enough for me to see her when I want to, but far enough that I can buy porn." -- WIllie P.

Pillow Talk

Trying out a new title for my intermittent ramblings. This title was suggested by my reader. It sounds a little gay, but so do half of my posts...

Speaking of gay, the latest post I've been working on is a reasonably in-depth analysis of homosexuality in rap music in the 1980's, using one particular song as an example. I can only foresee a few problems with this post. First, it could be interpreted as anti-gay (not to be confused with self-hating). I guess that could be advantageous from a readership building standpoint - some local media coverage may well double my page views. The bigger problem is that the post just isn't that funny, at least not yet. It is pretty funny (if offensive) in parts, but it is difficult to find something gay about every line of a rap song...

Other posts that are in rough draft form, and may or may not be finished (take "may not" and lay the points): the Madden Challenge (analysis of whether I could pick up more chicks than John Madden at a bar) and several Dating Field Reports...

I set up a meter for my blog, to see if anyone is actually visiting it. I've received two comments since then, but the site meter indicates that I've had zero visits. I think the meter might be broken...

I don't have a girlfriend, and I no longer know a girl who would get mad if she heard me say that...

I have joined a football "picks league" and will be posting a weekly tally of the results for myself and a couple of schmoes that I know to the right. This picks league is not to be confused with the 7/8 Partnership, which only really got going last year after the general partners went their separate ways. I ended up 10-7 on the year, and I believe the other GP had a similar or possibly better record. I still believe I can consistently turn a profit betting on zero, one or two NFL games per week...

I had lunch with a 38-year old business colleague a few weeks ago. Besides talking about things like golf and work, we discussed MAME (emulates lots of classic arcade games, including Tournament Cyberball 2072 - should be downloadable here) and the Nintendo Wii. Although he's got two small children, I've been invited over to play Nintendo next wiikend...

Just went surfing for the first time. I am pretty banged up and sunburned right now (because real men don't wear sunscreen, though apparently a Real Man of Genius does), but it was a good time and I actually stood up a couple of times. I think I am going to get a longboard and wetsuit and try and get decent at this over the fall and winter...

I have been training for Fettkrieg 2 for approximately 3 weeks now, which is convenient since the competition has been over for approximately 3 weeks now. I have learned that my workout plan would have, er, worked out. By taking in a lot of protein and cutting back carbs, but not to the point of Atkins, I've lost about 1.5 inches from my waist (based on fit of pants) but have maintained my beginning weight...

Going to see Dave Matthews Band at the end of September. It will be my first DMB show...

Also training for a triathlon at the end of September. Well, actually it is like a triathlon but shorter - 500m swim, 15K bike, 5K run. I guess I'm not really training for it so much as I am just working out in general. I would think I could roll out of bed and do that "triathlon" without specifically training for it...

According to ESPN radio the other morning, the average size of an NFL QB is 6'2.5" and 218 lbs. Meaning I am pretty much exactly the average size of an NFL QB. If only I had exactly average the skill or salary of an NFL QB, I'd be onto something...

I bought two movies that I really wanted to see - "Borat" and "The Departed" - when they came out on DVD. They are both sitting in my TV stand wrapped in plastic. I guess I didn't want to see them as badly as I thought...

I haven't bowled a game in ages...

I played night golf (not glow-in-the-dark ball, but under the lights, like a baseball stadium) for the first time this summer. It was actually tougher than I thought it would be to see and find your ball under these conditions, but with an 8pm tee time you can still play a quick 9 holes after work...

I think if I had 27 at-bats against major league pitching (i.e. every hitter in the lineup for one team is me) I would probably go 0 for 27 with about 20 K's...

I have recently been told I look like I am anywhere from 27 to 30 years old. However, these comments came from (i) a 40-something year old woman at work that I think wants to do me, and (ii) a guy who works for tips. So I'm not reading too much into this...

I would really like to find a good, weekly bar trivia night in San Diego but I think that is more of an intellectual and bad weather San Francisco-type activity...

I can't decide if I am too old to have a myspace page. A girl I've gone on dates with a few times has one (she's 27), but my assistant at work has a more tricked-out page (she's 38, with 2 kids). It still feels wrong to me...