For those of you that aren't allergic to free money, bet the farm on Cincy and give the points this morning. If you don't have a farm, borrow some money, buy a farm, then bet that farm on the Bengals. This is foolproof, even more foolproof than the Anti-JYW. And ask your kids to remember me in their Harvard graduation speeches.
Below are some other words of wisdom. They are generally not original thoughts, but if I don't know the source I am not going to go to the effort of properly crediting and quoting each phrase. Because I don't feel like it.
"Never show surprise, never lose your cool." -- Bryan Brown as Douglas Coughlin
"Go ugly early; it's cheaper." -- Ed S.
"If you haven't gotten any by midnight, go home. Because you ain't gettin' any, and if you do you'll wish you hadn't" -- Babe Ruth
"I never turned anything down but an old black man, and I turned him face down." -- Ed S.
"I'm a dirty old man, and I'll be a dirty old man until I'm a dead old man." -- Ed S.
"There are three rules for getting older: #1 - Never trust a fart. #2 - Never pass a bathroom. #3 - Never waste a hard-on, even if you're alone." -- Ed S.
"There are four things man needs to survive: Food, shelter, p*ssy, and strange p*ssy." -- Anonymous
"My girlfriend lives close enough for me to see her when I want to, but far enough that I can buy porn." -- WIllie P.
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