Fantasy Team Names

I play fantasy sports (in related news, I am 34 and single). Generally only one team at a time, and generally only football and baseball. Started on a site called Sandbox in the late 90's, and to this day I thank Sandbox for all the spam I get in my primary email account, addressed to KARL HUNGUS. Apparently, someone out there thinks KARL HUNGUS needs to refinance, needs to be offered varying rates of interest from 3% to 7%, and needs to be made these offers approximately 15 times per day. Because if KARL HUNGUS didn't click on the first 14, well, I'm sure he meant to and didn't get around to it, so you better send the 15th offer. But I will save my spam rant for another day. This post is about fantasy team names.

I always enjoy playing in a league more if the team names are clever. I have played in my brother's football league, and the teams there are named things like "Go Broncoz," "Bears in 2006," and "DA BANGERS." All the originality of, I don't know, starting a blog. I've for some time considered compiling a list of the best fantasy team names I've used or seen over the years. To mis-quote the 1998* Montreal Expos: "Porque no nostotros? Porque no ahora?" (*note that I know it was the Expos that used this slogan, but don't know the year though I do know it was near the strike, maybe the year after. If only there were some source of information that were easily searchable, I could find out the year. If only...)

So here are what are in my opinion some good fantasy team names. Some are my originals, some are not, and I will add to this list. Or I won't.

Baseball:

Jim Abbott's Right Hand Men
Men Without Bats
Operation Shutdown
Nine Jerks and a Squirt
Jackie Treehorn Presents Logjammin'
Liquor-Fueled Lesbian Rampage
The Boys of Febtober
Brak's Tales of Suspense
Attack of the Colons
Masterbatters

Football:

Cheese-Eating Surrender Monkeys
Ron Mexico and the Simplex 7
If I Drafted This Team, Here's How It Happened
Jell-O Fever
Hanford R2 Units
These Are The Jokes (this was a football team, and was included because my baseball league is now called this. However, I quit playing in that league. And will quit again after this season.)

In my football league, I have a semi-established tradition of changing my team name each week to mock the other team. A couple names on this list are examples of that tradition. They probably won't be funny to any casual internet droppers-by. That, however, is only a problem for the casual internet droppers-by.

As a note to myself, maybe the next post should be about good porn movie names based on real movies. Always a fun one, but I don't seem to be as good at this as I once was. We'll see what happens.