Brush it Like Beckham

It started out with a simple comment, on Polk street, circa 2003. Didn't think anything of it at the time:

"[Name of Mutual Friend]'s going pretty quickly." - G$
"Yeah, glad I don't have that problem." - JW
"I don't know about that..." - G$

More recently:

"I wouldn't really change anything on the face, but there is a little receding going on..." - "Jill" (San Diego chick) early 2007

"The celebrity people say you look like is probably Vince Vaughn." - Online date chick, July 2007

Now, THAT was interesting. The celebrities I've been compared to are Marc Anthony, Ralph Macchio, Campbell Scott and Jim Carrey. Never heard Vince before.

There was also hard evidence. I never really looked at this evidence, but it was there all along:

The San Juan bachelor party really hammered the point home though:


Dude is losing his hair! I knew I was having grey hair issues, but since people have been pointing out my grey hairs to me since college, I am actually pretty pleased that it has advanced as slowly as it has. But this other thing, THIS is an issue. I really only see myself from the front in the mirror, and I've always had a high forehead, so I didn't know this was going on. This is something that happens to other people, not to me. WHY THE HELL WASN'T I NOTIFIED ABOUT THIS?!?!?

Can anything be done? I mean, besides a change in career:


Unfortunately I can't sing a lick, so I guess that's out. And yes, that is me as "Fat Elvis." Smartasses.

Luckily, there is another option. (Well, according to the internet, there are several options, including the Bruce Willis "Die Hard" look.) There just so happens to be an international sensation who has the same issues, and who has popularized a hairstyle that happens to be perfect for the situation. Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you the $250 million man, David Beckham!


Can I get away with a "fauxhawk" like Becks can? So far, no one has said a thing. I don't think anyone will even notice the difference in hairstyle. That is, unless I do something stupid like post pictures of the new look on a blog.


As Borat might say, Success! Granted, I am looking pretty rough, but the photo was taken on a Sunday morning when I was out until 4am the night before (and nice beginning of a double chin there, fatass. Luckily I am trending away from that right now). I think the look is "professional" enough to wear at work, and my hair wasn't really cut to do this, so the look will improve over time. I was due for a hairstyle change anyway. So, problem (temporarily) solved, though I fear this may be the first step down a dark road that I may not want to travel.