Old Man and Me

On my way to work Friday morning, I had stopped at a stop sign near my house and started into the intersection when I nearly got into an accident with a car traveling from my right to my left. That intersection is a 4 way stop, and the car in question blew right through his stop sign. Driver of the offending car was a dude, fairly old. Dude stops in the middle of the intersection, as do I, and I lean on my horn a bit. I point two of my fingers at my eyes, then point to the stop sign he ignored. Or maybe he thought STOP means Spin Tires On Pavement. Whatever the reason, I was trying to communicate that he should have used his eyes and looked at the stop sign. I think I was doing this in proper Scuba sign language, but who knows, maybe I was telling him to f*ck off. In any event, dude just flips me off, and continues to drive. So I follow him for a bit, then I have a couple of thoughts. First, I probably should be getting to work, so I don't know if I have time for a low-speed chase through the streets of La Jolla. Second, did I want to fight the guy when he finally stopped and got out of the car? I did, but I see now that this was a lose-lose proposition: either I could be the guy who beat up a 60-year old man, or I could be the guy who was beat up by a 60-year old man. So I let my quarry escape, and drove on to work. If I'd had a rock or other throwable object, I would have thrown it at his car though. I don't really get the "I'm completely in the wrong here but f*ck you anyway" response from dude. But maybe I should admire that?

And now, for some more of the deep thoughts that you all find so boring AND tedious at the same time...

It would not bother me at all if the show "Pardon the Interruption" (ESPN, afternoons) got rid of Tony Kornheiser completely. Tony doesn't make the "he's on my fantasy team" joke as often as he used to, but he is still pretty much a complete tool. I think he's even copying Madden with a "taking a bus to Monday Night Football" thing. Take a hint from the TV show that was based on his life and immediately cancelled, and dump the guy. They can't replace him with occasional guest Bob Ryan of the Boston Globe, however, because Bob is not capable of uttering a coherent sentence (though I do not know if the "words" come out the same way he sees them in his head). Dan LeBatard of the Miami Herald would be a fine choice to pair with Wilbon, however...

Speaking of PTI, there is a terrible show on before it called "Around the Horn" that consists of 4 talking heads yelling about the sports events of the day and taking ridiculous stands to be "controversial" and "interesting." That show is hosted by Anthony Reale (I know this because my Tivo of PTI picks up the last 30 seconds or so of this other piece of crap). Anthony Reale is also "Stat Boy" on PTI, which is a much lesser position. You'd think that after Reale became the host of the other show he'd quit his post as Stat Boy, yet he presses onward...

An immutable law of adult films and magazines: solo chicks are hotter than lesbian chicks are hotter than hetero chicks...

I have been drinking a lot of "protein drinks," and I don't mean the Castro or Hillcrest kinds. Rather, you dump a bunch of flavored protein powder into a glass of water and mix it up, the point being the have a lo-carb, high-protein diet. I wonder how it would turn out if you mix vodka, the low-carb alochol of choice, with the protein drink. One of the protein flavors is chocolate. A chocolate martini tastes good, but what about a chocolate "proteini"?

Danny Glover is a well-respected actor for no apparent reason. He is TERRIBLE in EVERYTHING. Grand Canyon, Predator 2, the Lethal Weapon series, Saw, and the 3,000 other movies he's been in. Yet he continues to find work, and he's won a bunch of acting awards, such as a Cable ACE award, Image award, MTV Movie Award, and an I Can't Believe It's Not An Oscar!! How has no one else (like casting agents, for instance) noticed his utter lack of talent?

Caught the first part of Talladega Nights the other night. Leslie Bibb, who plays Will Ferrell's wife, is one balls hot chick. Apparently she's done a fair amount of TV work but is just getting into movies. I imagine we'll be (the public, and sadly not the Royal We) hearing a bit more from Ms. Bibb...

If I were forced at gunpoint to make a list of four comedians that are like fingernails on the chalkboard of my soul, the list would look a lot like this: Chris Tucker, Jim Breuer, Ben Stiller, Martin Lawrence.